A Sweater Story - Part Two - Conversion is a B*tch!

So my swatch of 4"x4" stockinette stitch measured 21 Rows and 17 Stitches.
The gauge for the pattern calls for 29 Rows and 22 Stitches per 4"x4".

OMG MATH!

What to do?  Search the web for someone who has an online calculator to determine your conversion factor - and voila - here it is:  The Knitting Fiend Conversion Page.

I popped the numbers in and now have my conversion factor - any # in the pattern for stitches is multiplied by .773 and any # in the pattern for rows is multiplied by .724.  I knit loose by a factor of about 25%.  (if this is wrong math geek friends, just let me know - I'll fix it)

Now I must go through the entire pattern and do math to it.  This is where excel is my friend...  Put that calculation into a worksheet and my speed typing should do the trick and I"ll have my converted pattern lickety split.  Well not lickety split, but maybe lickety.  Lickitung - remember that pokemon?  My favorite cause he ate sushi in that videogame.  Mmmm Sushi!

Okay back to Maths...

  So I put that calculation stuff into excel and started calculating the pattern and I discovered a really lucky break for me.  If I knit the pattern in the Large size with my loose ass knitting it will come out in my size - 3x!  Lucky Lucky Lickitung!

This is a crocheted Jigglypuff.

So- my dear friends, I am now ready to print that pattern out and start knitting like a (what pokemon knits?  I don't know  maybe Jigglypuff?)

The Dillema of Creating for My Self and a Sweater Tale Part 1

I have a deep problem.

I cannot seem to actually make something for myself!

I make stuff for my family, my friends, people I don't even know, their children - especially their children.  But when it comes to following through to making something for myself, I have good intentions.  I start - I buy the materials, the pattern and I think through the process.  But when it comes time to actually craft - to get to work - I procrastinate.  I stop doing for myself and go through a manic phase of making something for someone else.

Here is my most recent example.

The Beautiful Red Cardigan I'm Supposed to make for myself.

the super cute cardigan I AM going to make myself

The pattern is from Knitty.  If you are a knitter and paying for patterns, you need to check out Knitty.  It is a close fitting cardigan in red with little bobble flowers that go up the sleeves and one side of the cardigan.  Seriously cute, right?

I bought the yarn - Bamboo Ewe - 55% bamboo, 45% wool TOTALLY ON SALE at Michaels - $2.99 a skein - I bought all that yarn out of the bargain bin!

And then do you know what I did next?

I made an impossibly pink sparkly scarf for a friend and then two little baby hats (same yarn, I still had more) for someone at work who recently had twin girls.

REALLY Sandra?  You had all the stuff ready to go to make yourself a super cute cardigan and you started making impossibly pink scarves and baby hats?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  I confessed this to someone at work yesterday and she gave me the impetus to make this super cute sweater.  For you - and for her.  I am going to chronicle my process and put it on here so you can see what a big pain in the ass it is to knit a sweater!

A Sweater Tale - Part One

a skein of Bamboo Ewe - the color matches the sweater pattern!

The Yarn.  Bamboo Ewe - cute name, eh?  It is a mix of bamboo - who thought they'd make yarn out of bamboo?  But they do.  And Wool.  That's the stuff!  I have a very strong opinion that if you are going to spend literally dozens of hours knitting a sweater it had better be made of the very best materials you can get - because you want that SOB to last FOREVER!  I knit myself a sweater in the late 80's - a lopi cardigan.  The yarn cost a small fortune and my dad helped me pay for it.  I still have that sweater and I wear it when it gets cold.  More on that sweater very soon...

Knitting the Swatch

the swatch I finished this morning for the super cute sweater!

You must, Must, MUST knit a gauge swatch before you knit your sweater.  If you do not, you will suffer, as I did with my Lopi cardigan.  I did not knit a gauge swatch, I just grabbed that yarn and some needles and started knitting the pattern in my size.  What I did not know - being a neophyte knitter at that time - was that people knit differently.  The writer of the pattern I used was a tighter knitter than me.  I am a loose knitter.  Not only that, I am a combination knitter.  (more on that later - seriously the fodder for an entire blog post)  So my sweater turned out HUGE!  I had to buy more yarn because I ran out before I finished!  In retrospect, it was a good thing, because if it had fit, I wouldn't be able to wear it today with the weight I've gained since college!  LOL!  Also I wore it when I was 8 and 9 months pregnant in November and December 1990 and nothing else would fit - and it was frikkin cold!  SO - to reiterate - take the time to knit a swatch.

That is all I've done so far...

Here is what I'll be doing as soon as I publish this post:

Calculating the difference between the swatch I knitter and the gauge on the pattern.  This will involve measurement and mathematics.  So wish me luck!

God Damn Last Minute Costume Sewing

I have had it with God Damn Last Minute Costume requests.

I made all those damn costumes the night before the Ren Faire!

My family is frankly - spoiled when it comes to me making costumes for them.  I ask well in advance of costume required activities - Ren Faire, LARP Conventions, Halloween, etc. - What do you want to wear?  Do you need me to make something?  Etc...  Here is what I hear - "Oh, I'm thinking about it."  or "Oh, I don't know." 

And so I wait...6 weeks in advance turns into 4 weeks in advance - and I ask again.  "Oh I'm still thinking about it."...

I made all that stuff too...

And now its 2 weeks in advance...  I ask again.  "Oh I'm not sure."

And now its 1 week in advance...  I ask again!  "I think I know but I"m not quite sure."

So 2 days before the frikkin event I hear what is desired.  A tunic.  With a greek key design along the outside.  So I say to my Spouse, come over here and I hold up the muslin to him and eyeball the right length.  Then I rip the fabric and he says, "What are you doing?!" 

Megan wears the dress and leather rose crown I made.

I'm making your frikkin costume!  You didn't give me time to buy a pattern or specific fabric!  I have to get this thing made and I still haven't packed for the convention!!!

I think it came out okay...  But the photo of him in it?  Buried in a computer file somewhere...So enjoy these photos of other last minute costumes I pulled square out of my butt!

Sweater for a Ghost

My dear sweet Spouse was watching me crochet something out of yarn that I had spun.  This yarn was teal with black and when it spun it kind of made a candy cane pattern in a distinctly gothic way.  This color combo apparently appealed to him because he said to me, "I would like for you to knit me a sweater out of that yarn. Oh wait, I can't ask you to knit me a sweater...(pause here for explanation)

The Sweater Curse - If you knit your boyfriend a sweater, he will break up with you.  This knitter myth is substantiated by numerous first hand accounts of sweater-related break-ups.  I have shared this myth with my spouse and so he was well aware of this curse.

...Maybe you could knit a sweater for the ghost that lives upstairs...(pause for explanation)

The Ghost that Lives Upstairs - my evil Spouse told me that there is a ghost that lives upstairs and he has seen this ghost sitting on our bed with my head in her lap and she was stroking my hair while I slept.  This revelation was given to me in the middle of the night.  Can you say CREEPY!?!?

So, my Spouse knows I knit two sweaters for my ex.  Maybe he is a little jealous of these labors of love, since I've been married to him now for 10 years and I've never knit him a sweater.  I've made him leather armour, necklaces, scarves, tunics, pants, big floofy ren faire shirts and all kinds of other stuff, but no sweaters.

SO I'm charged with spinning the wool for a sweater big enough for the ghost that lives upstairs to loan to my Spouse.  He wears an extra large sweater and I needed to determine how many pounds of wool roving are required to make a extra large sized pull-over.  After some internet-fu I come to the conclusion that 3 pounds should be sufficient.

Here is where I share with you the financial realities of spinning wool.  It is frikkin expensive!  First you buy the wool and that's about $15-20 a pound.  Then you spend hours on end spinning it.  Charge what you like per hour for your time.  For myself, I charge $20 an hour because I am not a sweatshop worker.  I spent the next month spinning wool in my spare time after spending $75 on wool (with shipping and handling).  SO about 12 hours of spinning at $20 an hour... Then I bought dye in black, blue and red.  That was about $20 for the dye.  So including the cost of my time, the sweater is costing over $300.  And I haven't dyed the wool nor knit the sweater yet!!!


That damn ghost!

Dreams, Rip-Offs and Christmas Presents

Here's a long story with a happy ending.

A couple of years ago, a friend from work invited me to her house to learn to spin on a wheel.  I had expressed an interest in spinning after seeing really cool yarn hand-spun on craftster.  They have a fiber friday board and every week people show off what they've made.

It was a fun afternoon and I laughed a lot as I was really pretty bad at spinning but got the basic hang of it and had some really wonky yarn as a result. 

After this and after my daughter moved out and a spare room appeared in my apartment, I started looking for a spinning wheel of my own.  I am a cheapskate.  And a new decent wheel was going for hundreds of dollars.  SO when I saw one on craigslist for $100, I jumped.  Craigslist is a gamble.  But I've had good experiences buying musical instruments from there so...  I drive to redwood city and go this girl's apartment where they have a decent spinning wheel set up and also this one I"m buying.  She's replacing this one she says.

I'm all hope and ignorance so I hand over my 20's and take this thing home.

It is a piece of shit.  But I keep trying to make it work.  I bring home books on spinning wheels and I discover the following facts about this antique spinning wheel.

Just so you can figure out what I'm talking about...

1 - With a leg broken at the bottom, I can't get the thing to stand up straight.
2 - She didn't even have the drive band set up right.  She had two different bands not one band wound twice.
3 - The wheel was termite eaten or screwed up in some way that there isn't really a decent kind of rim to keep the drive band on the thing.
4 - The hooks on the flyer were gunky and just messed up.
5 - All in all a big waste of my money and I don't dare pass this crap on to some other unsuspecting spinning neophyte.

So of course, I had bought fiber and it was just sitting there in that spare bedroom mocking me.  I tried to make that damn wheel work, but I never got it right.  I don't think the person who sold it to me ever got it to work, I think she just had less ethical backbone than me and passed along the lemon to me.

So when my sweet Spouse asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year, I said I want a spinning wheel.  He's all like - what?  I don't even know how to begin to get you a spinning wheel?  So I sent him a link to the site to buy a Babe Starter wheel.

This is not your great grandmother's spinning wheel.  This wheel is made of PVC pipe and a wheelchair wheel with a big rubber band as the drive band.   It weighs less than 10 pounds and it doesn't take up too much floor space.

It looks weird, but it spins great and I love it.  I've spun a whole lotta yarn on it over the course of a few months and everybody loves the stuff that I make with it.

The only downside to this wheel is that because it is so light, I have to weigh it down to keep it from rocking while I'm treadling.  Currently I put one foot on the frame and treadle with the other.

The bobbins are made of plastic.  I have two sets of 3.  I currently am only good at using the bigger of the two - it spins slower and I like the chunky yarn that results.  I have not tried plying yet.

I listen to my ipod while I spin.  I like to listen to Prince - that music has the right number of beats per second for me to spin to.  So I'm spinning and listening to Raspberry Beret and Little Red Corvette.  It is not the idea of homespun that most people have.  But it works for me!

There is more to this story - so stay tuned to find out more.

Little Bitty Buttons

In 2006 I made a $200 investment in my crafty future.

I bought a seriously hard-core 1" button maker.

This is the real deal - it is made of STEEL and it makes 1" buttons REALLY FAST!

What was the downside?  The 1" circle of paper that you have your design on.
I have figured out how to make a 1" design - using word and the ruler function makes it pretty easy to size down images or put your little phrase in a 1" circle.

Cutting that little circle was the hard part.  I searched and searched to find an affordable 1" circle punch.
Finally, Michaels heeded my call and I got one for about $10.  Why wait?  Why not plop down another $100 for a circle punch from the button maker guys?  Well...I'm weird about money that way and I thought the price too high for what you got.

Okay now let's talk buttons.  Easy to make, quick to manufacture. Its just that I really don't like to be a sweatshop worker.  So I'll make you a specific button to your requirement or I'll guess what might be useful - like appearance based merits and flaws for LARPing.  Or if it is funny to me - like "We Do The Weird Stuff" from Dr. Horrible or Vote Petrelli from Heroes...

We Do The Weird Stuff!

Also simple stuff is best on such a small palette.  Don't be wordy because no one will be able to read such small print!  I like to take pictures from discarded books and punch out 1" circles of the text or from sheet music or origami paper.  Those buttons are very nice.

So - conclusion?  EXPENSIVE INVESTMENT!  Worth it?  Over the course of 5 years?  Yes.  Recommended?  No - unless you are crazy like me or have money to blow.  Otherwise, ask me to make your buttons or to borrow my machine.

Cooking with Sandra

Miso Soup is the ultimate dieting tool.


Here is how you make it.

• Boil Water
• Put 1 Tablespoon of Miso Paste into a bowl
• Shake in about 1/2 Teaspoon of Bonito flakes into the bowl
• Cut up a little bit of scallion or onion and broccoli or carrot and put into bowl
• cut about 1 ounce of tofu into little bits and put in the bowl
• Pour the water into the bowl and stir

Now you have miso soup.

Seriously folks, don't buy those individual packets of miso soup mix unless you really cannot get a hold of miso paste.

 Broccoli and Baby Bok Choy

Love me some broccoli and baby bok choy.  Those little cabbages are my best friends.  Steam this together in a wok with some garlic, sesame oil and soy sauce.  Add a few drops of Sriracha for heat.  EAT!  This takes about 5 minutes and the only improvement is adding rice noodles for a carb.

Rice Noodles?

Yes my friends, this is the quick preparation carb that will make cooking so much faster.  Drop a handful of these into a bowl of warm water.  I have started putting warm water in my rice cooker, turning that on for more heat and putting the noodles in that.  In 5 minutes, pull the noodles out and throw them in what you're cooking for the last minute or so.  Awesome!

Now that I've got your motor running to make some ethnic food - I watch little cooking shows on YouTube.

Cooking with Dog and Manjula's Kitchen are my current favs.  In Cooking with Dog, this very nice Japanese woman cooks and her poodle translates into English.  Hilarious and informative!  In Manjula's Kitchen, a very nice Indian aunty cooks every Indian recipe you have ever heard of in small quantities that her son or husband eat immediately after taping her.  Yum!

Rock Paper Scissors Cards

For the big convention last year, my dear Spouse wanted to have a souvenir to give to other players who attended a meeting he was hosting in character.  The game uses Rock Paper Scissors to determine outcomes and RPS is a psychological game that some people are really bad at.  The solution is Rock Paper Scissors cards.  This makes the outcome really randomized.

 Of course, if my Spouse wants something made, he usually comes to me with it.  So I buy a laminator and I come up with a back for the cards but finding graphics for Rock Paper Scissors and Bomb is just really not happening for me.  How does the solution find me?  In My DREAMS!!!!  Yes, I dreamt that I paid someone to draw me simple graphics of the hands making those signs.  This artist is someone I work with and the next day I said, "Hey David, I had a dream about you last night!  Will you draw 4 simple line drawings for me for a small but significant amount of money?"  He was all about it and by the end of the day I had 4 8 1/2" x 11" drawings of hands.

Rock Card Graphic

I scanned those puppies and threw them on the backs of the cards.  I used a copy machine to do double sided copies and a paper cutter to make them the size I wanted.  Since then I've moved to using the business card template and business card stock to save time. This does NOT save money.  But time is money so maybe it does...

Lamination 101.  There are basically 2 kinds of lamination.  There is the adhesive kind that is two pieces of plastic with goo in between.  You put your stuff in between the plastic and press it closed.  The second kind is better and more expensive.  This is heat lamination.  You have a hot machine with rollers that you put a plastic pouch with your stuff inside it into.  The rollers run it through and it melts the plastic together.  This stuff doesn't come apart!  The laminator is fairly cheap - I got mine for $35.  The laminate - the plastic - is where they get you - kind of like ink jet cartridges...  A box of 100 business card sized laminate pouches is $20.  Putting your stuff through the laminator is super easy - just make sure its straight and you put the closed part of the pouch through first so you don't get bubbles.
 
If you need to make RPS cards, drop me a line on etsy and we'll talk.  If you want me to make them for you - same thing - drop me a line.

This was an expensive endeavor, but I now have the ability to create RPS cards or other laminated stuff at will.  The end result was very good and people liked the product.

A Cover For My Nook Color

I bought a Nook Color recently and I highly recommend it to you as an ereader and as an Android tablet.  It connects to wifi and I can get my email, browse the web, play some games, read books, watch movies and listen to music or audiobooks on it.  It is compatible with most of the ebooks we have available for checkout at the library and it just frikkin rocks.  I have a lot of gaming books loaded on it as well as my pulp fiction, dolly parton music and some movies.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall was surprisingly good.


Right away I knew I had to have some sort of case to protect the screen from scratches and the whole thing from bumps and bruises that come along with Real Life.  In the car, on an hour-long ride, I crocheted a case.

It is simple, it is functional and I like it.  I've also gotten lots of compliments on it.  My spouse thinks it looks too much like a purse because I put a handle on it.  To him I say, SUFFER!

Would you like to make one too?

• Get out your crochet hook - size H and a skein of that super cheap acrylic yarn in a color you like.  Chain 40 and crochet that together.  You've made a ring that will be the top of the case.
• Begin Single Crochet around and around for 30 rows.  Just long enough to slip your Nook into.
• The last row you want to flatten the tube you've been making and Single Crochet across to "sew" it together.  Now it is no longer a tube, it is a pouch.
• At the other end Chain 4 and then Double Crochet x 3, repeat 14 times then attach to the other side in a single crochet to "sew" it on.  This will torment your Spouse with a handle which will make it look like a girly purse.

Voila - you have spent about an hour and now have a Nook Color case just like mine.  Simple, Functional, Like a Girly Purse.  All for the low low price of whatever that yarn cost you - probably somewhere around $3.00 because you won't have used the whole skein of yarn.

This creative endeavor was a success.  It was inexpensive, I did not make any significant mistakes in its creation and I've gotten compliments on the end product.

My Really Crappy Etsy Shop

I suck at etsy. I have an etsy shop. If you wish, you may contact me there and commission something. I'd love the business. I've had an etsy shop since 1996. I've made 21 sales. My feedback is 100% positive. 28 etsy users have favorited me. They are probably mostly my friends. Thanks friends. I am a member of AWL - Association of Workers in Leather.

But seriously, etsy is for cool kids. Etsy loves to highlight the shops of cool people - hipsters, hippies, fashionistas...Let's just make it clear - I'm not a cool kid. I'm not a hipster. I'm not a hippie. I'm not a fashionista. I'm a geek and not even as geeky as I should be to have real geek cred. Ergo I'm not cool enough for etsy to feature.

Etsy loves artsy fartsy photos with skinny models. My photos will show you what I've made but they aren't photoshopped or fancied up. I know some skinny people but I haven't asked them to model my leather masks. I have a copy of gimp on my computer and I have an okay digital camera, but really I haven't taken the time to figure out how to sexy up my photos so they're etsy-tastic. Ergo etsy will never put one of my items on the front page of featured items.

Etsy loves people who are really active - they post new stuff every frikkin day. I've got a day job - nay- a career and I don't have the time nor inclination to spend an hour a day updating my shop. Ergo etsy doesn't have my items show up in the most recently posted because they aren't recently posted.

What does this equal? A Really Crappy Etsy Shop. At least I've never been featured on Regretsy.

A Paradigm Shift

I - on the advice of my very smart spouse - have undergone a paradigm shift. Now the horribly neglected Constantly Creating will be more dynamic and the focus of the stuff I'm doing.

I was trying to make a business out of my hobby - making things. I had a skewed idea that I was going to make some money out of this. I got a tax id number, a business license and I even signed up to have tables at conventions and craft shows. The success of this - monetarily - was a spectacular failure. I have had a net loss in this area two years running. But I have paid my taxes and kept my paperwork.

What has been successful, for me, has been the satisfaction of making things and seeing other people wear and enjoy them. Figuring out what to make and how to make it is a pleasure for me. It is a puzzle to solve and the satisfaction of that is...what makes me want to do it again and again.

What don't I like? Sweatshop work. I don't like to do the same thing again and again.

What does this have to do with this silly blog? The paradigm shift. If you follow along, you'll get a glimpse into my creative process as I chronicle it. You'll learn a little something with me when I succeed and get a chuckle from my failed attempts.

So if you care to - read on...